Back when I was the lead singer in my rock bands, I would strut my stuff with a microphone onstage at night like a (wannabe) rock star.
But I was actually really insecure about my singing and I was taking singing lessons for years to get my act together.
I was living in a tiny basement apartment in Yonkers, NY and I sacrificed one of the two available closets and turned it into a vocal practice booth.
It was about the size of a telephone booth (if anyone remembers what those are) and I glued heavy 4-inch thick foam on all the walls and ceiling to make it as soundproof as possible. It stank of toxic construction glue for months, but I would get in there, shut the door and sing my heart out.
Why did I go to all this trouble?
Because I was super inhibited about people hearing me practice.
In my phone booth, I could work on all kinds of high notes that often ended in complete fails. I was imagining my neighbors laughing at me or complaining about me and I would never have gone for those notes without that vocal booth.
Learning new things can be very embarrassing. It’s usually a journey into the unknown.
Anytime you’re breaking new ground for yourself, you are risking embarrassment and possibly your own self-respect. “Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me? Other people seem to be able to do this with no problem.” Etc etc.
I always tell students that we are all on the same path, but some people are further down the path, some are behind us. We don’t expect everyone to be the same age as us, so why would be expect everyone to be at the same stage in their musical development?
It’s important to remind ourselves to be rational in that way and to try to remove our egos from the picture.
Nevertheless, most of us are just not as comfortable learning new things in public as we were when we were learning how to walk or learning how to talk. The expectations have somehow changed. That’s a very hard dynamic to change.
We all know that the most successful people are those who have failed the most. That’s why it’s so important to find a safe place to take those chances as adults.
We need a space where we can continue to fail and fail until we succeed. A place that actually honors our failed attempts as the crucial first steps towards mastery and success.
So, either find your own vocal booth where you can be alone.
Or, even better, find a safe space where you are surrounded by others who are making the same awkward attempts, who are not laughing at your mistakes, but who are inspired by you to risk making their own.
Groove on!
--Tracy